As Mother’s day is here its made me reflect that Wife, Mother, Daughter -these are just some of the titles I answer to but am starting to feel as if these are the only titles I answer to these days I haven’t felt like myself, taking an little time for myself was the first step but I need to go back to the person I was sometimes before marriage and kids.
I know this is the most understaffed ( 2 parents- nursery if afforded and the help of some pretty awesome nannies ), underpaid (mat leave and benefits) and underappreciated ( the man hours required -some days ranging from 5am to 9pm at night ) and the most rewarding and hardworking job but time to time I am washing clothes, running bath-times , lunches and dinners and making sure there are no cobwebs hiding in nooks and crannies within the living room/bedroom or toys strewn around the stairs or hallways.
I have to know the colour of boogies or whether theyre earwax is the right consistancy for someone of their age and development, and all the while ,
I am just wishing for time to watch my shows or just take an shower or bath without having to talk to my toddler about every subject going,i hate to sound selfish but I need an break once in a while!
This blog has allowed me to regain some of that aspect and control of the person I was before all this, https://www.thepragmaticparent.com/mom-feels-like-shes-lost-her-identity/ elaborates on these things I have been feeling and makes a bit more sense as to how ive been feeling, such as :
Being surrounded by people all day long while you run errands, take care of business and complete your tasks is lonely because these aren’t adult connections that fulfil you. You may walk among adults, but you are so busy that you don’t have time to spend with them and are craving meaningful connections like you had before children.
The isolation you feel may also be because you aren’t doing anything you enjoy, don’t have a hobby, you are an extrovert and need more social interaction that you currently have and feel isolated from your friends.
Having obligations is part of the game of being a Mom, but having so much to do that that you don’t have time for friendships will make you feel isolated, unsatisfied in your role as Mom and even lonely.
You will find your identity and then it will change again and again, and again. Be flexible and know that whatever parenting stage you are in, will bring new challenges to motherhood and who you are – as a mother, a wife, a woman and a person.
I know these feeling’s happen and is easier said than done to buck up and be a strong person but somedays are harder than others ( I am not wonder woman ) thankful for the friends and family i have down the phone when those days happen and helping me with my sanity x .
I can’t speak higher of my own mother and mother in law who has been a rock for me and our family they have helped us in ways I can’t even begin to express my gratitude or even begin to pay back! And the times I’ve apologised for when I was a child now having two of my own and all the times they’ve driven me round the bend.
Over mother’s day I had gorgeous morning snuggles courtesy of the munchkins, we did breakfast and little wookie helped me make a cup of tea, and helped with my breakfast , unfortunately I had to work and really didnt want to 😦 as it was mother’s day it was terribly quiet, I did get to see my stepson over the weekend aswell even if briefly always make me happy when I get to see him x they made me some paper flowers as even now has come to accept that I cannot look after flower’s to save my skin , I try but i get so caught up in every day tasks I forget to water them, and I got a card written by them which was sweet , looking back nearly 3 years ago if someone said to me I would be a mom of 2 I would of laughed , and the other bonus I managed to get a hot bath without my bum having to touch the tub and then get out again as someone has woken up and wants a cuddle x .
How was your mother’s day ? and what do you feel ? happy/lucky/lonely ? then just message you are not alone